Sylar is a Zombie
by chocolatemoose713
Summary: Claire calls Sylar a zombie...just to annoy him.


A/N: Ah, my first attempt at romance...though I would hardly call this romance. Anyway, please review!

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Claire had been surprised to run across him at a grocery store of all places. She had been browsing among the produce, when she saw him walk in and grab a basket. Sylar.

She had tried to hide behind the avacados, but he spotted her immediately, as if he had a built-in radar for blonde cheerleaders. Grinning, he walked over to her.

"Not much coverage behind the avacados," he noted, "Should have gone with the watermelons."

"What do you want?"

Sylar picked up an avocado and then set it back down, looking at her in false surprise.

"Me? Nothing."

Claire raised her eyebrows. Since when had Sylar wanted _nothing_ from her?

"Oh really?"

"Yes. _Really_." Claire considered this. Maybe it was possible he wasn't being creepy today. To test this theory, Claie turned and walked off in the direction of the bakery. Alas, Syar followed her.

Claire wheeled around to face him again.

"So what? You're just stalking me for fun?" Sylar sighed dramatically.

"I'm not stalking you." he said. Claire raised her eyebrows.

"Claire," Sylar said slowly, "It is possible for two people to run into each other at a grocery store. It _is_ small town." Claire almost laughed.

"I don't think New York City is generally considered a small town."

"Fine!" Sylar yelled, apparently annoyed with himself, "I was stalking you. Okay?" Claire nodded.

"I knew it!" she said happily.

"However," Sylar continued, "I'll have you know what I _don't_ spend all my time following cheerleaders around....it just happened to be convenient."

"Convenient?"

"Well yes, I did need to buy food." Sylar picked up a packaged peach pie and placed it in his basket, to show her.

"I didn't know you ate food." Claire admitted. Sylar raised an eyebrow.

"Everyone eats food, Claire," he said, "What did you think I ate?" Claire shrugged.

"Brains." Sylar wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"That's as disgusting as the first time you said that," he told her, then walked towards the dairy section. This time Claire followed him.

"Well if you don't eat the brains, then what do you do with them?" she asked, genuinely curious. Sylar rolled his eyes, picking up a carton of eggs and inspecting it.

"You should know what I do better than anyone, Claire," he said, "as you're the only one who's lived to talk about it."

"Yeah but the people that _don't_ survive. I mean, what happens to the used brains? You never leave them at the crime scene."

"I...dispose of them," Sylar answered cryptically.

"How?

"What is this, 20 questions!?" Sylar yelled.

"I just want to know," Claire said quietly. Sylar sighed.

"Well I've told you enough."

"Well I still think you eat them," Claire mumbled. Sylar laughed.

"I don't," he promised.

"Yes you do," she decided, "Like a zombie."

"I'm NOT a zombie."

"Yes you are," Claire teased, "You are most definitely a zombie."

"No I'm not!" Sylar threw a package of tuna into his basket.

"No but seriously, what other explanation is there to explain you? I mean, you're driven by a hunger, the only way to kill you is a shot to the head, and you like brains. Come on, you can't tell me there's resemblance!"

"I'm not a zombie, Claire."

"I don't believe you!" Claire sang. Sylar glared at her. She giggled. "Sylar is a zombie! Sylar is a zombie!" Claire chanted over and over again until Sylar yelled,

"I AM NOT A ZOMBIE!"

"Are you sure? Are you sure you're not a zombie? Have you checked lately? There's only one way to be sure!" Claire began poking him for signs of loss of blood flow.

"What are you doing?!"

"Checking for signs of zombification," Claire explained seriously.

"This is really not funny, Claire." Claire giggled some more.

"Yes it is!" Sylar tried to walk away, but Claire caught up with him.

"Do the brains taste good?" she asked, "Do they satisfy your zombie needs?"

"I have no zomie needs," Sylar responded irritably, "Due to the fact that I AM NOT A ZOMBIE!" Claire giggled even harder.

"That's exactly what a zombie would say," she informed him, "He would also say "BRAAAAINZ!"" Claire moaned like a zombie. "Come on, let's see your best zombie face." Sylar only continued to glare at her. Claire applauded. "Oooh that's a good one."

"Claire, I'm serious, if you don't stop I'm going to kill everyone in this store." Claire screamed.

"Help me!" she yelled, "A zombie's trying to eat my brain! Everybody run!!!" Claire called to the nearby shoppers. They gave her funny looks but continued to shop. "Nobody believes you are a zombie!" she told Sylar with mock concern, "Perhaps you _should_ force your zombie wrath upon them!"

"Look Claire, if you're trying to hurt my feelings-" Claire interrupted him.

"Not possible. Zombies are like Vulcans, you see. They have no emotion." Sylar looked thoughtful.

"Zombies have no emotions?"

Claire nodded. Sylar smiled.

"Then if I was a zombie...could i do this?" And without warning her grabbed her around the waist and kissed her. Clare, taken off-guard, kissed him back. But only for a moment until she realized what was happening and pushed him away. Sylar smirked, grabbing a box of frozen waffles from the freezer next to them and leaving Claire standing alone in the aisle, wondering what had just happened.


End file.
